Online Friendship

I have a serious love/hate relationship with social media.  All relationships can be hard, and online relationships are no exception.  But online friendship brings a set of unique circumstances with it.  One of the biggest hurdles, of course, is geography.  I often find myself connecting with people who live nowhere near my corner of the world, yet I feel so drawn to them.  Is it even possible to become real friends with people you will likely never meet in person?  (What is a real friend anyways?  Do we even know anymore?)  I have come to care very deeply for several people whom I've met online.  I've been lucky to meet a few of them over the years, but sadly will likely never have that chance with most.  Some of these people mean so much to me- I am excited when they have happy news, I have cried tears for them when they have been faced with devastation and heartbreak, and I feel crushed when I know that what they need more than anything is for someone to be present with them, and I can do absolutely nothing about it.

One of the many pitfalls of online communication is the potential for one-sided relationships.  Not everyone wants the same thing when they join social media, and not everyone is what they seem.  You can't look people in the eyes to see if they are being honest.  I've experienced this several times throughout the years.  We probably all have.  I'm often still taken by surprise when it comes to light that someone I really liked isn't who I thought they were.  Maybe it's because I don't know how to be anything but myself, and I expect everyone else to be the same.  I think on some level I trust too easily, and take people at face value.  But I'm also jaded and distrustful of people online.

So how do we protect our hearts from being trampled in this realm of online friendships?  (Again, what is a friend?  Do we throw that word around too easily these days?)  Do we just go through the motions, and not actually connect with people?  Or do we try, hope for the best, and then pick up the pieces later if it turns out that the relationship we had hoped for was never meant to be?  This is the line I walk... connecting but only very partially; wanting to let people know I am there for them, but not wanting to pry or intrude, in case they aren't as invested as I am; trying so hard, but acting aloof and unaffected when I realize that I've completely misread a situation, or someone else's intent.  Some days it's enough to make me just stop trying.  Some days it feels like walking alone in a crowd of thousands who can't see me at all.