I'm normally not the type of person who gives a shit about what famous people are up to. Many of them seem too self-absorbed, and I have better things to do than pay attention to what Gwyneth or Beyoncé are doing. Don't get me started on the majority of the reality show celebutards. I will never understand the fascination of those Housewife or Bachelor shows. Or most of the "let's follow a star around their life" shows. Maybe if there was a series that revealed a different aspect of their life, rather than just the fluff, I might be inclined to watch. There are a few actors/performers, though, that I really admire, so I started following a few of them over the last couple of weeks. One in particular really caught my attention. She's a little different from the majority of the Hollywood types- she actually interacts with her fans regularly. She is very smart and quick-witted, and also brutally honest about herself, and I think a lot of people (myself included) really appreciate her humanness (is that a word? If not, it is now.) That type of honesty and openness also comes with a price for her though (in my opinion anyways.) A lot of people seem to think it means they can say whatever they want, with no concern for her feelings. Of course, dealing with public commentary is one of the realities of living a public life. It's probably an evil that is (mostly) happily ignored, as a trade-off for doing something they love. Anyways, this particular actress is no shrinking violet, and has no problem telling people to piss off when it's warranted, but Christ on a cracker some people are just plain rude!
Recently, this actress posted about an issue that is very serious to her- addiction. I'm pretty sure that the majority of people in the U.S. have been affected by substance abuse in some way. (I have no data to prove this, other than the fact that almost everyone I know has either had a problem themselves, or has a family member that has.) There was a lot of positive commentary on what she posted- in fact I'm pretty sure most of it was positive. And then (cue the assholes) a lot of really inappropriate jokes about drunks and addicts started popping up. I felt myself getting so angry at the flippant attitudes, that I really wanted to lash out. Instead, I signed off and found something else to do.
I got angry because I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My father was the son of an alcoholic. Alcoholism is woven into every moment of my childhood, and helped shape who I am today. Don't get me wrong, my father was wonderful, and loving, yet somewhat distant. He worked hard to make sure we had everything we needed, sometimes working a second job to supplement his military pay. He was what would be considered a functional alcoholic. But he was still an alcoholic- a skill he learned from his father. A skill he used to shroud the pain of his own childhood, and that he sharpened to a fine point during and after the Vietnam War. No matter how many times he tried to stop drinking (usually after a hairy-assed fight with my mom) he would start again within a couple of days. We didn't talk about his problem in our home though. There was never a discussion of Dad going to get help to stop. He would spend the nights and weekends drunk, and we acted like he wasn't. I hated it. It hurt me to see him stagger down the hallway at night... to hear his slurred speech. I drink very little because of what I witnessed from my father. I drink very little because I like how it feels when I've had a little too much. And when I do drink, I always have just a little too much. When I do drink, I can feel how easy it would be to just not stop.
I am also the sister of two drug addicts. We did not grow up together (we have different fathers,) but I have been getting to know them over the last several years (that's a whole different topic.) My brother has been in and out of prison all of his adult life because of drugs and alcohol, and because of the horrible choices he has made due to his addiction. He tries to get clean, and does well for awhile. But then something happens in his life, and he falls back into old habits. He's back in prison now, where he will be for the next two years. My sister has struggled with drug addiction for several years, but thankfully she has been clean and sober for the past year. I hope that she continues to do well. My siblings' lives have been wrecked. Some would say that they chose this life- that they are only hurting themselves. But that is not wholly correct. Their children's lives have been forever affected by their illness.
There is nothing funny about addiction. There is nothing funny about the lives destroyed and lost because of substance abuse. Yet people make jokes as if none of those lives matter... as if the pain isn't real. Do these people who think it's so funny really have nobody in their lives that have struggled with addiction? Or are they just callous and uncaring? Would they make those jokes to their own addicted or recovering loved ones?
Recently, this actress posted about an issue that is very serious to her- addiction. I'm pretty sure that the majority of people in the U.S. have been affected by substance abuse in some way. (I have no data to prove this, other than the fact that almost everyone I know has either had a problem themselves, or has a family member that has.) There was a lot of positive commentary on what she posted- in fact I'm pretty sure most of it was positive. And then (cue the assholes) a lot of really inappropriate jokes about drunks and addicts started popping up. I felt myself getting so angry at the flippant attitudes, that I really wanted to lash out. Instead, I signed off and found something else to do.
I got angry because I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My father was the son of an alcoholic. Alcoholism is woven into every moment of my childhood, and helped shape who I am today. Don't get me wrong, my father was wonderful, and loving, yet somewhat distant. He worked hard to make sure we had everything we needed, sometimes working a second job to supplement his military pay. He was what would be considered a functional alcoholic. But he was still an alcoholic- a skill he learned from his father. A skill he used to shroud the pain of his own childhood, and that he sharpened to a fine point during and after the Vietnam War. No matter how many times he tried to stop drinking (usually after a hairy-assed fight with my mom) he would start again within a couple of days. We didn't talk about his problem in our home though. There was never a discussion of Dad going to get help to stop. He would spend the nights and weekends drunk, and we acted like he wasn't. I hated it. It hurt me to see him stagger down the hallway at night... to hear his slurred speech. I drink very little because of what I witnessed from my father. I drink very little because I like how it feels when I've had a little too much. And when I do drink, I always have just a little too much. When I do drink, I can feel how easy it would be to just not stop.
I am also the sister of two drug addicts. We did not grow up together (we have different fathers,) but I have been getting to know them over the last several years (that's a whole different topic.) My brother has been in and out of prison all of his adult life because of drugs and alcohol, and because of the horrible choices he has made due to his addiction. He tries to get clean, and does well for awhile. But then something happens in his life, and he falls back into old habits. He's back in prison now, where he will be for the next two years. My sister has struggled with drug addiction for several years, but thankfully she has been clean and sober for the past year. I hope that she continues to do well. My siblings' lives have been wrecked. Some would say that they chose this life- that they are only hurting themselves. But that is not wholly correct. Their children's lives have been forever affected by their illness.
There is nothing funny about addiction. There is nothing funny about the lives destroyed and lost because of substance abuse. Yet people make jokes as if none of those lives matter... as if the pain isn't real. Do these people who think it's so funny really have nobody in their lives that have struggled with addiction? Or are they just callous and uncaring? Would they make those jokes to their own addicted or recovering loved ones?
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