A Heartfelt Thank You to Kristen Johnston

Dearest Kristen,

I want to thank you for helping me change myself for the better, and for bringing some amazing people into my life.

I encountered you on Twitter quite by accident.  I think you popped up as a "people you might like to follow" recommendation, and I thought Sure, I've always liked her!  I wonder what she's been doing all these years?  (I admit, I hadn't heard of The Exes until a few months ago.)  I've always enjoyed you as an actress, but I've never been one to follow the lives of celebrities- not even the ones I like the most.  I'll watch movies and tv shows because of specific actors, but that's about the extent of it.  I've never really even had the desire to meet any of my favorites.  So, I had no idea you had been an addict, or that you almost died.  I had no idea you had written a book, and were now a champion for change, working tirelessly to transform attitudes toward addiction and recovery. 

When I checked out your timeline, you were talking about teen addiction.  As the mother of four children, living in an upper-middle class community, where prescription drugs abound, and find their way to the high school in the blink of an eye, it's a topic I take seriously.  Addiction, in general, is very near to my heart as the daughter of an alcoholic, and the half-sister of two recovering addicts.  I commented on whatever it was you tweeted, and I was shocked when you responded to me almost instantly.  You asked if I had read your book (which I had never heard of) and I said I would check it out.  It was not what I expected.  I never could have guessed what I would gain from reading Guts.

I never anticipated I would be touched so deeply by your story, or that in some ways it would describe me.  I never expected the story of an actress-slash-addict finding her way to sobriety would resonate with me, and change me at my core.  After reading Guts, and getting to know you and some of your friends through our interactions, I wanted to change myself.  I wanted to come out from under the blanket of pain and sadness that had been suffocating me for so long.  I had no idea how that would happen though.  I'll admit, I started talking with you every chance I could, because I became captivated by your honesty- even when that honesty was directed at me, and you were calling me out for my negativity.  I hated you for it sometimes.  (Is this is a good time to confess that Rainbow Fart was a passive aggressive middle finger to you on one of my bad days?)  But after I sat with your words for awhile, I knew you were right about whatever you had said to me.  When I recently told you that you make me want to be a better person, I meant it with every fiber of my being.  And not because you're Kristen Johnston The Actress, because I really don't think of you that way, but rather because you're this really cool chick, who makes me laugh, and who also makes me think- someone I would choose as a friend in real life.  I feel like I really should be too old to need someone to look up to, but apparently I'm not.

The whole point of all of this, and what I will never be able to thank you enough for, is the wonderful people that have come into my life because of you.  How or why this happened, I'll never understand.  But I am grateful beyond measure that our paths crossed when they did.  Without you, I would never have started opening up my heart to let people in, and I would never have gotten to know these amazing girls you've introduced me to.  Before meeting you, I honestly didn't think that I needed to open my heart.  I had convinced myself years ago that I was perfectly fine being alone.  Thank you for showing me how very wrong I was.  You and these beautiful girls have made me laugh, and moved me to tears on several occasions.  Every single day I am touched by the strength and love that radiates from within these girls, and how they hold each other up when one of them needs it.  I have been profoundly changed by all of you, and although these words will never ever be enough, from the very bottom of my soul, I thank you.

With much love and admiration,
Lisa